The last time I wrote something for the blog was almost 7 months ago! Man, that’s a long time ago… from wanting to just be writing to losing myself in the process of “adulting” is what I observe. Yet, what brought me here? Well, if you’re all ears, let me tell you!
The last time I wrote something was when I was doing my MA, at Coimbatore. It was the first time that I stayed away from home, without my mum and dad to be precise. Only when I was 23 I did that, had never been away from them until then. I couldn’t, I just couldn’t, they were and still are my world.
2021 Nov – 2022 June it was the most enticing days of my life until life passed from June 2022. City life surely did allure me, it was all worth it, I ate out a lot, tried and wasted my time to the point that I was bored of wasting my time but I grasped so much of what I needed in terms of academics. I’m grateful for my College and staffs for that.
To have a great set of souls to hang out with made those days lot easier and enjoyable. I’ve always felt blessed to have the most understanding and supportive people around me. Can never forget that.
Project and Viva literally broke my stage fear and seeded a new person in me. A more forward one.
Then came the moment of reality, as in the big question, “What next?” To the bigger complication, I was given what had to be done next but I was left all alone. For the first time in my life, the trail was certainly shown but there seemed to be no light. But I had to embrace the darkness.
1 year down the road, I learnt a lot. A lot but not on what I was supposed to learn but in life and on people. I learnt that you can’t trust what you see, you have to observe. You might mistake a stem for a thorn, a flower for a parasite. The world seemed different. I started experiencing the famous state of mind of this generation, “depression” and “loneliness”. And it was no joke.
Came through it, still riding through it and I’ve had my ups and I’ve had my downs. I’ve had my happy days and the days where I had panic attacks and didn’t even know that it was as a panic attack.
But also, I had good days, really good ones. And when the life throws on even harder days I wonder, when will I have easier days like the girl I see on Instagram, or like the one I saw in my classes. Why does life always have to be hard and what gives me strength to come out of it almost always in one whole piece? Maybe hope and my mothers prayers. ( indeed )
Now I have my doubts, I have my bad days and the good ones and the troubling ones but it all just makes me realise how simple life would be if we didn’t take things too seriously. The answer is right in front of us. But, tears tend to blur them.
Adulting is indeed hard but man, we’re all in this together. If you’re at the same stage of life, virtual hifi and here’s sending you so much love and huge, tight hug. It’ll all make sense one day, but for now; one step at a time, with hope in mind and kindness in the heart 💜
With love to write more,
Shilpasrecitals
perception21 